It Was Not Just Any Other Loss. But It Reminded Me Of You Dad

Your subconscious foretells tragedy! Dad’s last song “Kam yaar sapidt Khaab, wadan aase kune zoun” and Sajid Iqbal’s last post on Facebook “Daayaem aabaad raheygee duniyaa...hum na hongey koi humsa hoga” say so.
It was not just any other loss but a loss caused by tragedy. And it reminded me of you dad. It renewed the pain that took years to heal. It tore apart my heart and would have destroyed me if no changes had happened over the years to cure my wounds. I cried out loud, hoping to get some relief, but the pain got much worse as memories of the past played out.
Sajid Iqbal’s—a promising lawyer and senior IAS officer Iqbal Khanday’s son, death in a road accident gave me the pain I felt on your death dad. Both you and Sajid left home happy and never came back. Both were victims of tragedy. Sajid died at the young age of 27 when he was returning home from a wedding. Prominent Kashmiri Ghazal singer and Radio Kashmir senior Program Executive Ghulam Nabi Sheikh was murdered when he was travelling on a train to Delhi on the night of July 13-14, 2003.
Should we even count you as dead dad since we never saw your dead body?
I had never met Sajid, never spoken to him and never befriended him on Facebook. I wouldn’t ever have imagined that the tragedy of his loss would make this connection. It took me back to those painful memories, particularly when we heard about dad’s murder. It was word of mouth by Punjab police, and a picture of his blood-covered body. In the picture his face was severed and he was barely identifiable. We never were given his body which the Punjab Police claimed had in only a few hours been cremated.
Time is the great healer! All these years brought about changes that helped divert my and the family’s attention from those dreadful memories. The changes were mesmerizing for every passing moment took us farther away from painful memories. But Sajid’s tragedy drew us back to those memories because agony causes instantaneous change. Change to overcome trauma on the contrary happens over the years.
I was curious to see Sajid’s last post on Facebook. I had a reason! Two days before dad’s murder, he sang a song that spoke of pain, death and sorrows: “Kam yaar sapidt Khaab, wadan aase kune zoun.” I wondered if Sajid was feeling the same or had some death related vision before the tragedy happened. I could access Sajid’s Facebook wall page because no privacy settings let me see it. Scrolling down many tributes that had poured in from his friends only a few hours after the tragedy, I finally found his last wall post: “Daayaem aabaad raheygee duniyaa...hum na hongey koi humsa hoga.” (The world would continue to prosper. If I am not there someone else like me will be there).
I was right. Sajid’s last wall post, just like dad’s last song, spoke of death. Even when our conscious mind is unaware, our subconscious does foretell tragedy.